The “true” no fault divorce in New Jersey is based on the grounds of irreconcilable differences. It “simply” that neither party is accusing the other of any fault. Essentially you can file for divorce in New Jersey because you haven’t gotten along for a period of six months during any time during your marriage. It’s the most commonly used grounds for divorce in the state right now.

There are numerous options for dealing with foreclosure during divorce.

Seek a Loan Modification or Refinance the House

Does one of the parties in the divorce want to stay in the property that is at risk of foreclosure? Depending on the separate property and financial assets of each party, it may be possible to refinance the home or to obtain a loan modification. Refinancing the house—and getting a better interest rate with lower monthly payments—would require that at least one of the parties has strong enough credit to refinance the loan on the property. When you refinance, you essentially pay off the old loan and get a new one, hopefully with better terms.

If refinancing is not a possibility, then the party who wants to stay in the house may be able to obtain a loan modification. A loan modification can also reduce the interest rate, but in general it will alter the terms of the mortgage to make monthly payments more affordable. If, however, a loan modification is not an option and you cannot refinance, you may need to try to sell the property.

Selling the House and Short Sale Options

If the house has some value, it may be best for the parties to sell the property. If the house has no equity, or worse, if it is underwater, then selling the property might only result in bigger burdens for the divorcing parties. One option could be a short sale. In a short sale situation, the home is usually underwater, which means the homeowners owe more on the loan than the house is worth. In these cases, the lender may agree to accept the sale price of the home (even if it is less than what the debtors owe) and agree to forgive the remaining debt. Short sales are technical and the advice of a real estate attorney should be obtained.

If neither a general sale nor short sale is possible, the parties may have to consider a deed in lieu of foreclosure. In effect, the homeowners sign over the house to the lender “in lieu of” a foreclosure. In other words, the homeowners transfer ownership to the mortgage company so that a foreclosure does not happen. Sometimes lenders want to recover the amount the homeowners owe, but a lawyer can negotiate a “deed in lieu” that benefits you.

Whether you file for divorce with or without an attorney, there is a filing fee for the complaint for divorce in New Jersey. It is $300.00 without children and $325.00 if you have children who are not emancipated. To respond to a complaint for divorce by filing an answer, the fee is $175.00 or $200.00 for the same reasons. If you are not contesting the grounds for the divorce but wish to be heard on other issues such as support, property distribution or custody etc., the fee is $175.00. There are other fees that may apply for applications made during the divorce or after the divorce.

You may seek a divorce-the legal dissolution of your marriage on the following grounds:

• Adultery
• Willful and continuous desertion for the term of 12 months which met=y be established by satisfactory proof that the parties have ceased to cohabit as man and wife
• Extreme cruelty, which is defined as including any physical or mental cruelty which endangers the safety or health of the person seeking the divorce or makes it improper or unreasonable to expect that person to continue to cohabit with the other spouse. A complaint may not be filed until three months after the act of cruelty complained of though this does not apply to a counterclaim
• Separation based on a separation of the parties for a period of 18 months or longer in different habitations with no reasonable prospect of reconciliation
• Voluntarily induced addiction or habitation to any narcotic drug as defined or habitual drunkenness for a pried of 12 months or more consecutive months subsequent to the marriage and preceding the filing of the complaint
• Institutionalization for mental illness for a period or 24 months or more after the marriage where the parties have not resumed living together after the release of the institutionalized spouse
• Deviant sexual conduct voluntarily performed by the other party without the consent of the other spouse
• Irreconcilable differences which have caused the breakdown of the marriage for a period of six months and which make it appear that the marriage should be dissolved and that there is no reasonable prospect of reconciliation

A divorce can be sought on one or more grounds.

The short answer is no. Some couples do choose to resolve their divorce without attorneys and by negotiating issues directly with each other. This process, known as a “kitchen table divorce” or “do it yourself divorce”, potentially saves money by reducing legal fees, at least in the short run. However, “kitchen table divorces” are not for everyone and in many instances can make a bad situation worse. The cost to unraveling mistakes can be hefty.

Here are four questions to consider before embarking on a “kitchen table divorce”.

Are you able to communicate effectively and have difficult conversations with your spouse?

This is an absolute prerequisite to a “kitchen table divorce”. The divorce process brings out a lot of potentially negative emotions in these discussions. In fact, poor communication is one of the leading causes of divorce. If your marriage has a history of unsuccessful communication and conflict moving forward in a “kitchen table divorce” will be difficult and potentially more expensive in the long run. If there’s a history of domestic violence you should not be involved in these negotiations without help. There is an imbalance of power that will override even the best of your intentions. Your safety may be jeopardized without professional help.

Are the issues related to your divorce relatively simple?

For example, are you in a situation where there were no children born of your relationship or are they emancipated (legal jargon for living away from you and supporting themselves)? Or do you have minor children but have worked out issues related to parenting time, support and housing? From a financial perspective, is your balance sheet pretty straightforward (limited assets and liabilities)?

Are you comfortable with filing legal paperwork and appearing in court without an attorney?

Even in simple divorce cases the paperwork process can be a daunting prospect. It’s important that you seek out the information as to how to properly file for a divorce. The right documents must be submitted. In most cases a court appearance is required to obtain the final dissolution of the marriage. That is sometimes an intimidating prospect.

Do you understand your legal rights related to the divorce?

If the answer is no, (and not advice from well-meaning family or friends even if they have been divorced), one option is obtain a consultation with a family law attorney before you try to work out an agreement with your spouse. Another option would be to have preliminary discussions with your spouse and then review those terms with an attorney. Be careful though that your spouse does not interpret suggested changes to the terms you discussed as a change of heart and as reneging on the agreement that you two made. That only creates more hard feelings. Meeting with an attorney sooner rather than later may seem as if you are adding cost but only in the short run. The costs of reversing a bad agreement will be exponentially more costly than the modest cost of a consultation. A good thing to remember is: “You don’t know what you don’t know”.

Divorce is difficult on parents and may be even more difficult on children. Here are 8 tips to help your kids manage the divorce process.

Tell your children about the divorce as soon as possible.
If possible tell them together and explain the divorce to your children in terms of how the divorce affects them. First and foremost let them know they are loved and that they will continue to be the most important part of your lives.

Stay positive about your ex In front of the children.
It’s very difficult for a child to hear negative comments about their mom or dad. This is especially true if it’s one parent saying something bad about the other parent. Unless there’s a safety issue involved it’s never a good idea to say something bad about the other parent when the children are present

Try to keep things as normal as possible.
Keep your children’s daily routine’s including visits with friends and family, drop offs and pick-ups, and extracurricular activities. This is particularly true for young children. Even relatively minor changes to their routines may trigger painful emotions. For example, Grandma begins picking up the kids after school instead of dad

Take care of you.
Stay healthy, eat well, drink in moderation, and exercise. Talk to friends, family members, clergy, or a counselor to sort out your feelings. Your kids model your behavior. It is important for you to be open about the pain you are feeling and show your kids that you are addressing it in a healthy way.

Tell your children that you love them.
This goes without saying of course. However, when your children are dealing with a painful change they need the message of love to be reinforced. Say “I love you” more often and make sure that your children know that the divorce has no impact on your love for them. If you tend to be more of a thinking personality type (Less sharing of feelings) it is important to step up you love game as the divorce process begins.

Manage children’s expectations.
Your children’s lives will change during and after the divorce. For example, it’s very possible that they will see less of their mom (or Dad) once the parents live in separate households. Telling them otherwise will not help. Let them know that the one thing that will not change is your love for hem.

Avoid overspending on your children.
Parents feel incredible guilt during the divorce process. Avoid buying your way out of your guilt. Your child may feel better for a few hours after receiving a new toy. However it does nothing to help them work through their feelings about the divorce.

Be relaxed about transitions from household to household
Living in two households is more complicated than living in in one. Your children are bound to forget things as they move from home to home. Cut them some slack when they forget. When possible try to duplicate their frequently used items or favorite toys at your house. If they don’t have their own bedroom, make sure that you allocate some space in your home that belongs just to them.

I hope you found this article to helpful. If you are considering divorce and have questions about you children and other family law matters please call.