When you want wedding bells to ring, not cannons to be shot…
You are planning on buying that ring or you just received it and the thought of spending your life with this wonderful person lifts your soul.
And then…other thoughts creep in…suppose it doesn’t last? What if I wind up divorced like my parent (or friend or relative or co-worker)? Will all that love be replaced by spite or greed or desperation? How do I or the other party protect what we have gained so far? Isn’t just talking about all this going to cause the rift to spoil all our plans?
Divorce is a reality and unfortunately more than just a possibility. The divorce rates can be quite high depending on your age, number of marriages or your socio-economic background. So how can you protect your wealth, your financial future, or your children from a previous relationship?
There is no magic wand to wave. It takes a conversation and generally one that is facilitated. The agreement if reached needs to be written with the advice of counsel for the protection of both parties.
Perhaps an attorney who typically litigates may be the one you think would be most appropriate to assist you. You might consider though whether you want to start this process as adversaries. It may not bode well for the future as spouses.
A process such as collaboration or mediation may provide the non- hostile backdrop where your interests can be explored in a more non-confrontational manner. After all you want to marry this person! Creating the plan that will assist you both in the event the worse happens while striving to keep your relationship from splintering needs can actually be a trust building event. Open directed discussions can help you arrive at the result for both of you.
So if those voices chime in or thoughts appear consider collaboration or mediation for a positive communication and effective resolution to keep you together not drive you apart.