Living in multiple homes can be hard for anyone. It’s even more difficult for children of divorce. If you are living in Monmouth County and are considering divorce, there are a number of strategies that you can use to help your children live happily across two homes. Here are some important ideas for helping them thrive in your home and the home of your ex-spouse.
- Give each child their own space in your home. Of course, having their own bedroom would be great, but if that’s not possible make sure that they have their own drawers in the shared bedroom and other places dedicated to them so that they can store their toys and craft projects. Help them get excited about decorating their space.
- The children may be enthusiastic or not so enthusiastic about things that they do at your ex-spouse’s house. Be supportive about their stories and be positive about their living experience there. And it goes without saying; always say kind words about the other parent as difficult as that may be.
- Stay in contact with the children when they’re in their other home even If it’s just a single phone or text each day.
- Try to make transitions back-and-forth to each home easy. And don’t sweat it when they forget to bring something and you have to make a second trip. They didn’t sign up for this and they’re doing the best they can.
- Try to maintain a consistent routine for the children when they are at your house. For example schedule similar times for meals, homework, playtime and going to sleep. You don’t have to match the routine of your ex, but it’s important that they have a routine so they feel a sense of stability with you.
- Help them feel comfortable by having the basic necessities available at both homes. This might include craft supplies toys, toiletries, books and more. Then take it a step further and include special fun things and or treats to make them feel special when they come into their other home. For important items that you can’t duplicate be flexible in allowing the children to take these things from home to home.
- Develop consistent rituals for your children when they live at your place. It could be something as simple as stopping at Starbucks after their sporting event each week.
- Maintain your spouses’s privacy and don’t involve the children in trying to find out what about your ex-spouse’s activities. Children pick up very quickly when your motives are not genuine. Don’t force them to take sides. Better yet, try forgiving your ex-spouse and moving on with your new life.
Following these simple ideas can help your children to be happy living in two homes. If you are living in Monmouth County and have questions about your divorce or separation, contact Anna-Maria Pittella.